Sardar robbed

Sardar: Last night, a thief showed me a knife and robbed me off!
his friend: But you had a gun, where was it that time?
Sardar: Thank god! I had hidden it well, else the thief would take that too!

Hair Style

A guy walks in to the barber shop. The barber asks, "What will it be today?"
The guy says,"Well I want it going it with my waves on top, faded on one side, plug the other, and just make it all out of shape and messed up."
The barber says,"Now why in the world do you want your hair cut like that?"
Guy says, "That's how you cut it last time."

source- The Himalayan Times

Colour the duck

A kindergarten teacher handed out a colouring page to her class. ON it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella. The teacher told her class to color the duck yellow and the umbrella green. But Bobby, the class rebel colored the duck in bright fire truck red. After seeing this, the teacher asked him, "Bobby, how many times have you see a red duck?" Young Bobby replied, "The same number of times I've seen a duck holding an umbrella."

Source- The Himalayan Times

Divorce

Being tired of their relationship a Sardar and his wife went for the divorce in the court.
Then the judge asks, "How will you divide the three children?"
Then the Sardar replied, "Okay! we will wait for next year and divide two, two...."

Bhroooommmm....Can you ride well?

There were two Sardars riding their bikes on a highway. The first sardar was a few metres ahead of the second Sardar. Then the second Sardar accelarates Bhrooooooooom.... and reaches at the level of first sardar and says,"look here, can you ride?".
Then the first sardar again acclerates bhroooooooooom.... and goes ahead.
Again the second sardar accelerates bhroooooooooom..... and reaches at the level of first sardar and says, "look here, can you ride?"
This turn by turn bhrooooommmmmm.... and bhrooommmmm continues. At last the second sardar falls down. Then the first sardar came near the fallen sardar and said, "Look paji, can't I ride better than you? Ha ha."
Then the second sardar say, "You should have said it before. I wanted to ask you how to apply brakes, if you could ride well."

I Am My Own Grandpa!

Many many years ago,
when I was twenty-three
I got married to a widow,
Pretty as could be,
This widow had a grown up daughter
with flowing hair of red
My father fell in lover with her,
And soon the two were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life
Now my daughter is my mother,
For she is my father's wife.
To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy.
I soon became the father
of a bouncing baby boy,
My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad,
And so became my uncle,
Thought it made me very sad
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown up daughter
Who, of course was my stepmother.

Confusing right? Go ahead.....

Father's wife than had a son,
who kept them on the run
And he became my grandson
For he was my daughter's son,
My wife is now my mother's mother
And it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She is my grandma too.
If my wife is my grandmother
Mean I am her grandchild.
And everytime I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.
For now I have become
The strongest case you ever saw,
As the husband of my grandmother
I am my own grandpa!

Ha! Ha! Ha!

Gears on a Horse

Once upon a time, a man was riding his horse and he saw a car and saw it changing gears for speed. But his horse did not have any gears so he wishes to have gear for his horse too.
Wandering from shops to shops, he came to a clever shopkeeper. The shop keeper asked him to visit the next day.
The shopkeeper prepares three pieces of chillies moulded in rod shape(like flour) and sells it to the man. The man then happily goes to check them if they work with his horse.
So he uses his first gear. He inserts the first gear into the horse ass, the poor horse runs very fast. Delighted with the speed the man uses second gear, the horse runs more fast. The man over excited, uses his third gear. Then the angry horse thrown him over.....

Is he crazy?

Two friends were talking:
1st : Do you know, my father shaves about fifty time a day.
2nd: What? Is he crazy?
1st : No, he is barber.

The prisoner

One prisoner used to cut the parts of his body when he grew angry. In this way after he had cut his leg, hand, nose etc, and he thrown them, the jailor said, "Hmm, now I am understanding that slowly and slowly you are trying to get out of the jail."

Extra Extra

Outside city hall, a boy selling newspapers bellowed, "Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Two men swindled!" A man walked up to the boy bought a paper, and sat down to read it. "Hey kind," he protested a few moments later, "there's nothing in here about two men being cheated."
"Extra! Extra! "Shouted the boy. "Three men swindled!"

Its not the achievement if you are able to make 1000 friends a year, but the great
achievement to have one friend for 1000 years.

A deep friend is like rainbow, when the perfect amount of happiness and tears r mixed, the
result is a colorful bridge between 2 hearts.

Longest Love Is Mothers Love....
Shortest Love Is Others Love....
Sweetest Loves Is Lovers Love...
But Strongest Love Is Friends Love...
Like U & Me............


words begin with A... B... C...
Numbers begin with 1... 2... 3...
Music begins with sa... re... ga...
But friendship begins with U & me


Vacancy in my Heart 4 a True Friend
Eligibility: Loving & Caring,
Duty: To Luv,
Experience: Not required,
Salary: Never Ending Luv,
R U interested?

THE LOVE LETTER

Once there was a boy who loved a girl very much. However the girl's father did not like the boy. The boy wanted to write a letter to her but he was sure that the girl's father would read it first. Though he wrote the letter at last to the girl.

The great love I said i have for you
is gone and finally my dislike for you
increase everyday. When I see you,
I do not even like the way you love

The only thing I want to marry to do is to
look the other way. I never wanted to
marry you. Our last conversation
was very dull and in no way has
made anxious to see you again

You think only of yourself.
If we were married, I know that I would find
life very difficult and I would have no
pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
to give, but it is not a heart

I want to give you. NO one is more
demanding or selfish than you are and less
able to care for me and be of help to me
I sincerely want you to understand that
I speak the turth, you will do me a favour

If you consider this is end. Do not try
to answer this; your letter are full of
things that do not interest me. You have no
true concern for you. Good bye! believe me
I do not vare for you. please do not think
I am still your loving friend.



The girls father read the letter. He was pleased and then gave the letter to his daughter. The girl read the letter and was very very happy. Why? Because she and the boy had a secret way of writing letter to each other. She only read the odd line numbers. i.e the first line, then third line, then fifth line and so on......

SECRET OF LONG LIFE…

A reporter was interviewing three old persons near a beach.

Reporter (To the first old man) : What is the secret of your long life?

First old man: Well, I never drank alcohol, never smoked tobacco and I have only one wife forever.

Reporter : And what’s your age?

First old man: I’m 90.

Reporter: What about you?

Second old man : Well I sometimes drank, sometimes smoked and dated often.

Reporter: So, what’s your age?

Second old man: Well, I am 88.

Reporter: And what about you?

Third old man : I smoke two-three packet of cigarette every day, always drank alcohol before sleep and dated every woman I go out with.

Reporter : That sounds great. So, what’s your age?

Third old man : 26!

CHANGE YOUR…

Customer : I want to change the car I bought. Because my wife is short, she cannot reach the brake.

Salesman : Well, we don’t have the tradition of changing the sold thing. Instead you change your wife.

ADVENTURE COMPUTER GAME…

A customer in software and games CD store.

Customer : Well have you got a very good adventure game with excellent graphics, you know something really challenging.

Shopkeeper : Well in that case have you tried Microsoft Windows Vista?

SECRET OF FASTNESS…

One day an aero plane asked a rocket.

Aero plane : How do you run so fast?

Rocket : You cant understand my problem friend. You would have known only if your ass was on fire.

CREDITS….

Three guys lived in a room. As they were having their dinner,

1st guy: Wow! What a delicious pickles.

2nd guy: Hadn’t I made it, would it have been delicious, Hmm..?

3rd guy: And who made the meat? It’s even tastier.

1st guy: Hadn’t I made it, would it have been testier?

1st an 2nd guy : Wow! Most tasteful is the cauliflower.

3rd guy: Hadn’t I fertilized it with my stool, would it have been so tasteful?

SECRET OF FASTNESS…

One day an aero plane asked a rocket.

Aero plane : How do you run so fast?

Rocket : You cant understand my problem friend. You would have known only if your ass was on fire.

FROM WHICH HOLE…

Once the death of god, Yamraj wished to meet the three most brilliant persons of the earth. So, ordered to bring the three most brilliant persons from the earth. From all the corners of the world, the three most brilliant persons were brought to the hell, and Yamraj put forward a condition for the three guys.

Yamraj: I will give all three of you a chance to ask most difficult questions in this world. If I am not able to answer your question then you would be sent back to the world, but if I told the right answer you will have to stay here forever.

The three brilliant got worried, however they managed to ask a question.

1st brilliant: What is the exact diameter of the earth?

The Yamraj meditates for a while and then gives exactly the right answer. So, the 1st brilliant lost his chance.

2nd brilliant: What is energy mass conversion theory?

The Yamraj again meditates for a while and describes the right answer. So, the 2nd brilliant too lost his chance. And finally came the turn of third brilliant. But the very time, he was very much nervous and already full of sweat.

3rd brilliant: Well can I smoke for a while? This is my last wish.

Yamraj: Ok! You are given that chance too.

As he smoked he kept on thinking a question, and then suddenly he took out a paper from his pocket. He made several holes on the paper, took the paper right back to his ass and gave a BOOOMB….Then…

3rd brilliant: So, tell me through which hole did I bombarded.

Then the Yamraj thought for a while and showed him a paper on the hole through which the gas came out.

Yamraj: Isn’t it the right answer?

3rd brilliant: (With very much happiness in his face) NO NO. You are wrong. I bombarded through this hole. (pointing to his asshole

LAST NIGHT…

A guy was explaining his last night to his friend. He says “Yesterday night, though staying in bed I couldn’t sleep till the late night. At about midnight I woke up and just walked on for a while and then took a rest. Few moments later, I saw a tiger running towards me like it was coming to eat me up. This annoyed me very much. So I bravely stood up at once to get that tiger down but…?” “What happened then”, his friend asked him so anxiously. Then he replied, “But I found both my pants and underwear below my knees?”

(Interpretation: Actually the guy suffers from diarrhea, and when he goes to toilet where he gets asleep and in dream he sees a tiger.)

A Boxer and a Champion Runner

A boxer went inside the toilet attached to the waiting room at a railway station. For fear of losing his overcoat, he fastened a card on it and left it on a stand in the room. The following lines were scribbled on the card “owned by a famous boxer who will be back in a few minutes.” After sometime he came back to take his overcoat on the stand he found a card which read, “Taken by a champion runner who is not coming back”